Break Ups

Getting over break ups is not an easy task. Losing someone who once meant the world to me was one of the hardest and most emotionally painful things I’ve ever had to go through. Everyone is different, therefore everyone moves on at different paces. Here are some tips to help you get through your heartbreaks.

Think it over:

Take time to think through everything that happened in the relationship, think about the good times and the bad times but don’t let the happy times blind you from the real reason(s) why you and your boyfriend (or girlfriend) broke up. There’s always a reason, maybe there were too many disagreements maybe you two just weren’t on the same page, or maybe... that spark that was once there... just disappeared. Sometimes the reason might not seem like a good reason, but whatever the reason is, just remember that it’s for the best even though it may not seem that way. Thinking doesn’t always have to be in your head; you can always think it through and talk about it with a friend too J

Coping:

Everyone copes with their pain differently, just make sure that it’s appropriately and don’t do anything that you might regret later on. Personally for me, I like going out and having fun... as cheesy as it may seem at the moment, it does keep me busy. However you decide to cope with your feelings, accepting the fact that things just weren’t meant to be is the first big step to moving on.

Find a new hobby, like reading a book, taking a class, playing sports, staying active. You’ll notice (maybe not right way but you eventually will notice) that you’re having fun and living your life without the person you thought you once needed.

Hatred:

I can’t blame anyone for wanting to hate their ex, but it’s usually just a phase. Sometimes the pain from being left can turn into anger, and that’s normal.

For the longest time ever, I hated the guy who broke my heart. I would call him stupid and worthless ... I was like the meanest person ever... but I knew that I was really just denying the fact that he moved on before I did and it just hurt so much that I started to hate him for the pain that he put me through. We were best friends for about 3 years before we went out, and now that I think about it, I can’t believe I ever hated one of my true friends.

You can still hate your ex, it might not be a phase, just ask yourself if the situation is really worth becoming enemies with him. Maybe it was the way he broke up with you, maybe he lied, maybe he led you onto believing that this would last forever- there are so many reasons that you could come up with. I would definitely hate someone who cheated on me or used me or abused me... but I’m not suggesting that you do. You may or may not deserve better, but in the end, there will be someone better.

People change, things go wrong, just remember- life goes on.

Remind yourself that your ex might be trying to move on with his or her life too, respect that and distance yourself from him/her. Even if you decide to be friends afterwards, cut off all ties right after the break up, you can’t go back to being just friends with him if you haven’t moved on.

I find that most adults find it hard to believe that we’re too young to be in love and too young to be serious about someone, and that’s absolutely not true.   

They say we’re too young to love, but maybe they’re too old to remember.

My Story:

I had my first heart break at a pretty young age, some of you guys might think that I’m like crazy for thinking that I even understand relationships, but I can honestly say that I went through a terrible break up. I was friends with this one guy for years and we obviously began to fall for each other. He finally asked me out and I can’t even describe how happy I was about that. Everyone thought we looked like a good couple, but now I know there’s a big difference between looking like a good couple and actually being a good couple. He broke up with me exactly a month later... over the phone.

It used to drive me insane when people told me to just “move on” like it was the easiest thing to do in the world. Maybe telling me to move on woke me up from my fantasy and brought me back to reality, but moving on takes times. So don’t move on if you’re not ready. Don’t force yourself, take time to recover. “I understand” also drove me insane, maybe you’ve been through a bad break up too... but you’ll probably never understand the way I feel when I’m heartbroken and vice versa. I was a mess at the time, I just wanted to be alone... but you can’t push away everyone or that’ll just make it harder for you to carry on with your life. If you want to be comforted, you have to be willing to let it all out and let your friends in.

I know how my story is lacking sooo many details, but I feel like I was just.. retarded to think that we were going to last forever. I know I shouldn’t have made him the center of my universe and that I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up especially since I was so young back then. I’ve always been a sucker for happy endings... but now I know that’s not gonna happen for a longgg time. Even now, after moving on, I know that the chances of my boyfriend and I lasting forever are slim. I don’t want to believe that we will because that’ll just make it so much harder to move on when we break it off. I love him so much, I’m older now... but at this time in life, I’m not looking for “the one”. This is the time for “young love”, but that doesn’t mean the feelings aren’t true and it isn’t serious.

I used to reject guys... even guys I liked... I just didn’t want to date because I didn’t want to go through the pain of that one bad relationship again. Now, I’m taking risks... this is how things should be. What reason do I have to be looking for my “soul mate”? I’m risking it all now because I have nothing to lose- and neither do you.